These MPs must leave

These MPs must leave

KIM WELLS

Kim and Gary in happier times.

Party faithful and well placed locals are calling on Irene Ling to challenge the Baillieu-era Treasurer Kim Wells.

Irene is a Malay Chinese member who embodies many of the values the Liberal Party seeks to represent electorally.

There are quiet rumours that the long term father of house Kim Wells will hang up his faded gloves. Kim has spent many years in the parliamentary background and deserves retirement with a pension.

BERNIE FINN

Bernie the former spokesperson on spectrum disorder.

Radical conservative firebrand facebook addict Bernie Finn has done more than enough for the Liberal cause in Victoria.

Bernie has encouraged so many challengers that probably 25 people would be interested in running to replace the bulldog of the West, whose bark is much louder than his gummy bite (as is well known in Young Liberal circles).

Bernie could do with less stress. He shouldn’t have to obsess over what some upstart website is saying about him or worry about calling lawyers. Instead, he can sit back and enjoy the football, even if his team never wins a grand final.

GORDON RICH-PHILLIPS

Gordon the pilot.

Gordon who? Gordon can be more often be seen at the Moorabbin Airport than at work. Although aeroplanes sound exciting, Gordon is no Red Baron, but is more like trying to find a Where’s Wally amongst the constituents of the South East.

Strong voices are calling on respected Inga Peulich to send Gordon into the Liberal cloud forever. Inga is a formidable campaigner and undoubtedly would see Gordon replaced if she were to put her hand up and contest for the position she deserves.

ED O’DONOHUE

Ed is short for Edward.

The rosy cheeked Ed is a Liberal intellectual, a kind man with a slight stoop, whose amiable abilities will see him rewarded in the private sector.

Ed, like his friend and former colleague Mary Wooldridge, must surely be seeing the hopelessness of decades in opposition.

GARY BLACKWOOD

Gary to retire.

Gary was the chief backer of former leader Michael O’Brien. He was the nasty moderator of a recent MPs meeting as reported in The Age who attempted to shut down all debate and discussion. Gary genuinely cares about factionalism.

Media personality Alan Jones put it politely when he said, “I will tell you what should happen, there is a fellow called Gary Blackwood, he holds the seat of Narracan … and no disrespect to him, but no one has heard of him.”

Gary has been struggling with his health, and has seldom been seen at Parliament for years. On WhatsApp he takes every opportunity to bully a female colleague from Western Victoria.

After having fended off the loony catholic brigade Gary can afford to retire. Perhaps Gary better learn how to use a Melways to find his way around his own electorate which is quite beautiful this time of year.

DAVID MORRIS

I am David.

You probably forgot about him. Quieter than a mouse. Blander than manila folders. More boring than cabbage soup.

Another old, tired do-nothing MP. A complete seat warmer. David should do the right thing and make his end of career choice.

MICHAEL O’BRIEN

Where to now for Michael, seeing that two thirds of the parliamentary party wanted to get rid of him?

Michael has been replaced by a revitalised Matthew Guy, so where does Michael go from here?

His decades of political experience could be powerfully honed to serve as the Malvern wine club chairman or perhaps a consular appointment to Afghanistan.

Time will tell.

WHAT IS TO COME OF THE QUICK-CLARK CABAL?

How does Victorian Liberal powerbroker Ian Quick survive? He is beginning to regret his scathing private assessment of Matthew Guy. Sources close to Ian Quick say he expressed ultimate displeasure at the prospect of Matthew Guy returning.

Perhaps it is time for Ian and his friends on Admin to pack up, or get in line with Matthew and the new Liberal team.

Hapless doddering Robert Clark will have to do yet another genius political backflip after so strongly backing Michael O’Brien.

Half of the Admin Committee should go too. Half of those nominating for positions on Admin who are part of Robert Clark’s factional entourage should pull out.

With Matthew Guy leading from the front, the last thing the party needs is Ian Quick’s faction stabbing him in the back.

Those old tired MPs who didn’t vote for Matthew Guy should step down.

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