Big Brother Clark introduces facial recognition

Big Brother Clark implements facial recognition

A new declaration of war is reverberating across the Liberal Party after a leaked internal report from the Western Australian Liberal Party indicated that Ian Quick and Robert Clark are preparing to implement Big Brother style facial recognition software for Victorian Liberals.

The Western Australian Liberals have produced a document into their election loss which inadvertently revealed that the Victorian Division of the Liberal Party “is currently investigating the introduction of ‘facial recognition’ of members.”

The leaked document revealed that the Victorian Secretariat received a quote from a security service and software vendor of more than $40,000 per year.

The document states, “The State Director Sam McQuestin says it will reduce queues of members waiting to be admitted to Party meetings and pre-selections. It often happens that members innocently turn up without identification, which causes unnecessary delay.”

“It’s an expensive way to replace a driver’s license for identification,” one senior Liberal explained. “This hasn’t been raised at Admin either.”

Robert Clark has directed State Director Sam McQuestin to purchase and implement the use of facial recognition technology for the party to govern internal ballots.

Ian Quick’s access to head office is unparalleled at the moment while the State Director lives it up in the Apple Isle.

“Party members should be concerned that an IT nut like Quick will now have access to every party member’s retina and facial scan,” a leading party member said. “God knows what he will do with this sensitive data.”

“This is overreach of epic proportions,” said another Liberal member. “I imagine people will leave the party over this draconian measure.”

A meme showing a scene of the most recent 1984 film with Robert Clark as Big Brother is circulating the party like wildfire.

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