Cleaning up the manure


Cleaning up the manure

Julian Sheezel would never have run a clown show like the Victorian Liberals’ 169th State Council.

Mediocre, forgettable and bland were a few words used afterwards to describe a day of nothingness, bad coffee and stained carpet.

Party members were spread out in an auditorium which had plenty of empty seats, where speakers received limp-wristed applause and observed clown fumbles from outgoing party figures.

Other than a brief electric presentation from That Guy, members were busy penning their numbers in an Admin race that crashed outside the starting gates. Someone got bogged in the wet grass too.

Members wandered the corridors, passing aspiring candidates and former nobodies, including a lone Grant Hutchinson and other disgraced members who were avoided like the plague. Factional sub-bosses patrolled the building helping older members, taking photos and knowing who they should and shouldn’t say hello to.

With no challengers to the Mirabella new broom, Sam McQuestin was feeling the gloom of his own career collapse on the home straight. Greg Mirabella, who is said to be a Trumper with old school country values, signalled an opposite approach to the physically contorting Robert Clark.

Dictator Clark had been all about the processes, with incompetent Head Office workers and skin-deep conservatism. Mutants like McQuestin thrived in that atmosphere. But now the Mirabella heatwave was coming, and the old grass was going to be turfed. Members are saying McQuestin must go before the State Election.

Snaking points of order came predictably from Ian Quick and arguments one way and then the other from the floor, including some special treats from the peanut gallery, and motions became stills if they didn’t have any nuclear energy.

The factional politics played out like a rubik’s cube, with a quadrella line up, and a field of winners and losers. Emirates favourite Shilpa threw a shoe, skittish Aaron bolted, big Andrew got tangled, mousey Roxanne was sent to a hobby farm and muddled Robert went to the knackery.

Other interesting results came in, with the return of a vindictive Mr Quick (not a cup favourite) and dark questions around the elevation of Ian Pugh. Jan Millard and Jenny Robertson are to continue their Agenda Committee confrontations now on Admin while quiet hero Geoff Gledhill received support from many quarters.

Admin and State Assembly meetings will be very interesting with all major factions represented. Things are already better off with the departure of vagabond Bernie Finn.

Some honourable mentions from chat groups on the day. First, the chatterboxes who stood at the back of the auditorium, everyone could hear you. Second, many comments were made about Bill Rizopoulos’ hairdo (move over Steve Holland!) Third, with such a broad church of different branches, like the pride, conservation, women’s, multicultural and Young Liberal branches, will members see the obesity, wallflower and bogan branches?

Finally, whoever distributed a fake ticket putting Andrew McNabb last, shame!

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