Crewther defeats living fossil


Crewther defeats living fossil

The political revolution continues on the Mornington Peninsula with another good looking, smart candidate – Chris Crewther – beating old and tired nobody David Morris.

David Morris’ political career finished more spectacularly than it started. The perennially ancient-looking Morris lost to the dashing Chris Crewther at the Mornington preselection. Crewther, the former member for Dunkley won with 80 votes to Morris’ bare 60.

Factional operators Matthew “I don’t want to be a” Wilson, Peter “membership forms” Angelico, Reagen “the private school is calling the lawyers” Barry and Steve “looking for a safe seat in Bavaria” Holland were ejected from power. Linda Morris was especially outraged, with the Quick faction given a drumming leaving the Wilson family to rely upon the patronage of Goldstein MP Tim Wilson.

The Mornington Peninsula revolution has been swift so far with traditional factional nasties Kaye Farrow and Linda Morris falling foul of the local desire for change and real representation.

Team Morris supporters are now worried about the financial prospects and future career of David Morris, who might find a place in the Melbourne museum or be the subject of palaeontology lectures at Melbourne University.

David Morris’ options are limited to possibly becoming a taxi driver, shopping trolley attendant or Tim Wilson’s Chief of Staff.

Liberals on the Mornington Peninsula have decided they don’t want to live in a dinosaur graveyard any more. New central casting candidates that look like the cast from Project Runway are making a difference. Briony Hutton won her preselection with presentation, brains and the bathing suit contest. Chris Crewther too has turned out to be the people’s choice.

Members are looking forward to the Nepean contest between cry baby Russell Joseph and middle aged model, real estate guru David Burgess, who enjoys long walks on the beach, 19th century French poetry and sampling grange wines.

Again, another revolutionary, well deserving of consideration whom the locals like the look of is Zoe McKenzie, a sharp witted Josh Frydenberg supporter.

From the Sorrento Pier to the Flinders Pub, electors will be excited by the new prospects.

The sickly figure of David Morris now leaves planet sandpit, soon to be joined by boring Russell Joseph, whose allegiances to Michael O’Brien, Robert Clark and Ian Quick have not paid off.

Some smart observers have noted that the Mornington preselection was really the battle of the wives, with the real battle being Mrs Morris versus Mrs Crewther. Perhaps they are wanting to follow in the footsteps of the great Boadicea Theana Thompson, who would have been Prime Minister except that she took on the important role of being the Women’s Section chair.

Another one to watch is Donna Hope in Flinders, where locals are looking for a reliable safe pair of hands. Donna Hope is a popular pick and deserves another tilt for Parliament. She did a great job scrutineering for Chris Crewther as well.

The local party members don’t want frumpy women who take orders from Ian Quick but want real representation and exciting politicians that will help keep the Mornington Peninsula blue into the future.

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