Crewther lopping dead wood Morris

Crewther lopping dead wood Morris

Political observers would recall the recent activities of Steve “Little Hitler” Holland and his antics on the Mornington Peninsula.

“Little Hitler” failed in his preselection bid for the Upper House seat in the Eastern Region because Victorian Liberal Party members don’t like pipsqueak councillors who breach the party’s constitution. Going on TV to talk about internal party matters is not taken too kindly by admin or the local good burghers of the Liberal Party.

But “Little Hitler” has a bigger problem than losing the Eastern Region preselection. His eyes have been set on the cushy safe seat of Mornington. The seat is currently held by perennial Liberal nobody David Morris who is being challenged by former Dunkley member Chris Crewther.

Morris is a political journeyman who first clashed with Greg Hunt for the seat of Flinders and lost badly. That left Morris handling the members in the Mornington area.

David’s second time love is with Linda Morris, mother of political firebrand Tim “modern liberal” Wilson, and suburban Simon “pass me the scotch fingers please” Wilson.

Some say David Morris has hung around as the local member for Mornington mainly for the money. His political contribution is negligible, and he is indifferent in philosophy and ideology but seems to fit in with the ALP rather than the Liberal Party.

He doesn’t participate in debate and sits quietly in the Parliament ignored by everyone.

Liberal colleagues noted that David Morris only was excited when passing Labor’s abortion reform bill, with lefty colleagues Ted Baillieu and Louise Asher. Liberals at the time thought it was strange Morris was so excited about abortion, since Mr Morris’ appears to be a very boring type who just needs a buckle hat to complete his puritan costume. In fact Morris is what Young Liberals today call a “leftard”.

That aside, he has maintained his position as the local member with Linda assiduously counting the numbers every AGM, and blocking everyone who looks slightly conservative from joining their electorate. Over the years they have accumulated a range of oddball supporters, including Steve “Little Hitler” Holland, Reagan “can you please give Peninsula Grammar their money back” Barry and Matthew “please stop stalking me” Wilson.

The three amigos and Linda successfully harassed and harangued anyone under the age of 70 at the local branches, so as to ensure the decrepit human hat stand that is David Morris retained control of the seat.

After the Dunkley preselection a few months ago Linda Morris won the day for ALP lawyer and survivor Sharn Coombes, having lobbied members hard against former candidate Chris Crewther.

Now perhaps it is Chris’s turn to return the favour.

Chris Crewther has never been seen as a factional warrior for any ideology or cause. Those who know him describe him as a pleasant and intelligent family man with a dominant wife, which going by current representation, is probably a prerequisite for the seat of Mornington.

Chris has always played with a straight bat, trying to stay out of the toing and froing within the factional landscape of the Victorian Division.

Things must have changed for Chris to nominate against David Morris. Members in Mornington must have begun to believe their local member has had his day. Certainly Morris was in deep with O’Brien when the Victorian leadership was being challenged.

While local preselectors were happy to give a Labor lawyer the seat of Dunkley on the basis of merit, Liberal watchers can only wonder if they will do the same for David Morris. But maybe the patriarchy that Morris hates will at last move with the times and choose Chris Crewther as a more in tune and sensitive representative.

Sources close to the action believe the three amigos and Linda will have an aggressive campaign planned to prop up David for one more term so as to hand “Little Hitler” a seat in their Aussie Reichstag.

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