Liberal losers’ pity party

Liberal losers’ pity party

As Matthew Guy blows the cobwebs from shadow ministry onto the back bench, several demoted MPs have taken to social media to have a public cry.

Perennial Western suburbs whinger Bernie “stop grabbing my thigh” Finn has done his best to spark disunity by trying to make out that Matthew Guy is factional. Bernie Finn is one of the most craven boars ever to wallow in political factionalism.

Bernie had the temerity to put on his facebook that he told Matthew Guy days ago that he wouldn’t continue in the shadow ministry (as spokesperson for spectrum disorder). The alleged sexual predator and confirmed idiot put his version of events out on social media to prove that he was a major source of disunity.

He justified his call for disunity by stating, “Debts paid. Unity destroyed.”

Bernie Finn went out of the stables early to tell his diminishing supporter base that he had volunteered to leave the shadow ministry, when in reality part of the reason why Matthew Guy won the ballot was because his colleagues knew that a Matthew Guy win would mean that Finn would be out!

Bernie would like to think there is “confusion” about his boorish behaviour, but all he has proven is that his place is in the Centrelink line not the State Parliamentary team.

Bernie’s irrelevant and alt-right supporters are trying to buttress the so called conservative has-been. As the tides rise in Melbourne’s West, expect to hear more squealing from Bernie’s fringe dweller friends.

You can expect to hear do or die murmurings from long time irrelevant conservative commentators hanging out on the dingy parts of facebook or more likely on their own blog screaming endlessly into the void having no impact other than making conservatism look completely potty.

Bernie’s top three reasons to stay in Parliament:

  1. I need a job and I’m unemployable
  2. I need a job and I’m unemployable
  3. I need a job and I’m unemployable

Fran Henderson asked who would stand for the special people of Western metropolitan Melbourne if Bernie Finn didn’t.

An example of Bernie’s extremist supporters on his facebook:

Everyone’s favourite has taken facebook to call supporters to rally around Sandringham’s compassionate Catholic Brad Rowswell.

While Brad was opening envelopes in Sandringham, word among the parliamentary in-crew was that he was wielding the letter opener at night, busily running around telling O’Brien tales about the loyalists and the actions of rebels on the backbench.

Brad has been a stayer in the Liberal Party. He lopped off popular and qualified locals Margaret Fitzherbert and Felicity Frederico, having drunk more coffees and consumed more scones than Brunetti café’s yearly turnover.

His charming and inoffensive demeanour on the exterior covers an ambitious political player who stops at nothing to get his way. All this contributed to his demotion.

Anyone would think Brad Rowswell is the future premier, and perhaps he would be, if nursing homes alone elected government. There he is now with his cheery blue eyes, pale skin and slightly megalomaniac grin that would suit a Billy Graham crusade with a cobra in one hand and a large family bible in the other.

Brad’s greatest challenge is not that he was dumped but the rising tide of greenie votes in and around the Sandringham electorate.

While the warmed Ovaltine might work for some in his electorate, Gen X is not so easily pleased. Without a significant swing towards the Liberal Party, everyone’s favourite grandma cuddler may well be looking for a new job.

New jobs for Brad include:

  • Elderly support care worker, possibly for Bernie Finn, Michael O’Brien and Gary Blackwood.
  • Funeral parlour assistant director.
  • Catholic-Evangelical pastor for a church that meets in a tent on the foreshore.
  • Travel agent.

The leader’s axe has also fallen on Narracan’s Gary Deathwood, Kim Wells and David Morris. Did anyone notice Gordon Rich-Phillips leave the room?

Another loser of the Great Victorian Reset is party power broker Ian Quick.

Ian is hitting the Kleenex lamenting the fact that he was not selected to the State Director’s role in 2017, possibly because he could have wreaked more havoc than Nick Demiris.

Ian Quick, a well known narcissistic weirdo, will fall further down the pecking list as Matthew Guy reasserts order under the Liberal Party’s big top. Clowns must leave the ringmaster’s caravan. Lions are to be locked away. Old acts are to be replaced by new ones.

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