State Council Round Up


State Council round up

Former conservative and now Dan Andrews wannabe, Robert Clark, has washed up his diminishing career as party clown at the Victorian Liberals’ State Council. He is being named as the probable source of the “low risk” COVID outbreak there too.

Despite the fact that there were under 1000 members present, which is thought to be an all time low for the party (another achievement to add to the list), members were in high spirits shouting down microphone tyrant Robert Clark and bozo Owen Guest with his j’excuse on frittering away party finances.

The perpetually nasty and antagonistic Robert Clark told the members what he really thought of them. No wonder Hate Faction mascot Bernie Finn called Robert Clark his good friend.

A morose Clark with his comedy duo buddy Ian Quick provided a full afternoon of unwanted entertainment to the many empty seats in the room as they belligerently attempted time after time to ram through their various undemocratic and dangerous motions.

Freedom fighters rose to their feet early to see off a motion to suspend State Council for two years.

Counter attacks were carefully carried out by heroic figures Sol Green and Fred Ackerman while sensible MPs gonged Clark and Quick’s patter and two step stage acts.

Having successfully manipulated the numbers and factional tickets to return himself to Admin, Ian Quick was photographed slouching behind his band of misfit new Admin committee members, including Holly “where’s my magic broomstick because I have a party to” Byrne and Mantach era misfit Amanda Millar. Joining them are Karina Okotel recruit Anthony Mitchell, Tony “cartooner’s dream” Schneider and Russell “big baby” Joseph.

Opposing them includes newcomer Jenny Robertson, Roxanne “KGB” Liemareff, Andrew “chatterbox” McNabb and Bond, Councillor Bond. Not many delegates would envy their role in having to fight the most incompetent, dangerous and bureaucratic State President in the party’s history.

Quick and Clark did their best to push their controversial motions, but in the end democracy, sanity and the will of the people won out.

Members went home feeling exhausted after hours of heckling Robert Clark, jeering at freak show ring master Ian Quick and shouting at the State Director who had staff hand out extra ballot forms to unregistered voters just to ensure another Quick-Clark victory.

As the party now enters into factional fatigue, a fresh round of preselections are coming up as manhandled by the same old Ian Quick.

“Robert Clark stood there announcing to us how he was the one wearing the laurel wreath,” a party member sitting near the front said. “I couldn’t see it, but all I was waiting for was his promise for bread and circuses. I was surprised that almost half the room supported Quick’s motion for more crucifixions though.”

“Robert graciously allowed Fairfax journalists to stay and report on the motion for quotas,” another member said. “I can think of 44 reasons against them, but it was very uplifting for members to read in the paper the comments made by conservatives in favour of women’s quotas.”

“Women’s Section members are pleased to see Wendy Lovell’s potential replacement Amanda Millar elected. Well done Amanda.”

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